A person told me today, I've still got a long way to go. He showed me the reality of the world in the future. For the first time in a long while I felt really scared for my future. The artists of now will only be ten fold better when I graduate. I've just realised how complacent I am. I've got to practise my art and keep practising. I just feel like crying now. There's so much I need to learn. It's just that I've really haven't got enough time to juggle everything in my life. It sounds just like a giant excuse, but I starting to doubt my chosen path again.

I can't blame anyone but myself for my complacency, I need to really learn from the best and keep growing. I need some time to chill for myself now.

It's 9.35 pm as I write this and I'm thinking how long it's been since I've arrived here. I feel so different than when I came. I used to be so confused in living in a foreign country, learning how to fend for myself. Now I can manage a lot of things on my own. It's such a extreme polarity.

I used to be so distracted and lazy, now I really can say that with age; you become more motivated. :) I'm 21 this year and I'm more motivated than ever, it's time to work hard and never give up. I'll take this challenge head one and do well! I know I can do it! It's only if I wanna put in the effort and prove to my tutors and lecturers that I can do it. They are there to help but not there to speed up your work. It's when you ALREADY KNOW stuff and you wanna IMPROVE that you ask them. I've got to keep this motivation going.