My heart was broken this year, to someone I should have given it to. I did not cry for it though, You learn to be strong. Don't tease me about love cos you know I can't admit who I like/love. For the good of the majority, "the majority is always right".

Its gone now anyway. =)

Times all flown away, another graduation on its way. We gain and lose. I will miss you guys sooooo badly.

" Demo Hikaru ga? Mo Ipu saki suzu mitayi-tei, kizukei hajimetei cha dara,
soshidara boku ka? Doshiryu ka na? "


Indeed, The magic spells of the carriage don't last forever.

Maintaining this reality is beyond human control. I just wish the road was a little longer.

I deserve every single blow that you throw at me. Sorry won't help... so I'll just shut up.

Home,
is,
very,
near,
yet,
so,
far.

Dang.

To: What's-Their-Names...

If I left you,
would you care?
If I left you,
would even know I'm not there?

If I disappeared,
will my impression last
If i disappeared,
or will it die with my one last gasp?

If I went back,
would you miss me?
If i went back,
Would I be the one you would still want to see?

I am going
Back to home
I am going
sad and once again alone.

Goodbye my friends,
this will be my last call,
Goodbye my friends,
I love you all.

The wind carries its heart and soul on it's wings.
It whispers a message to those to all who listen. Caressing and nurturing the gentle, forgiving and patient. It sends to me a calming breeze; to be myself, to relax and to understand.

"Let nature take its course, let love and let live."

The wind speaks of joy
The wind speaks of emptiness.
The wind speaks of a wonderful scent.

The wind.


















...says you are beautiful.

“ Please. Just listen to me!” A voice rang out in the darkened pathway, echoing through the trees.


“No get away!” A second voice returned the first, shrill and hysterical.

Ruriko quickened her pace as she headed for the nearest bus stop, the night winter air chilling her bare legs. She silently cursed herself for choosing to wear a dress that only covered half her thighs. It was supposed to be fantastic night of clubbing then He told the words she thought would ever come out of his mouth.


“We’re not breaking up, we can’t be!” She whispered in disbelief, her hand holding her mouth so that the words were inaudible. Wolf whistles called after her as she hastened towards the traffic light. She was not getting involved with any man tonight.

Sitting at the bus station, she reminisced about the wonderful moments they had together, relaxing on the warm sun-kissed grass hand in hand with him, watching the clouds pass by, cooking for each other competing who is the better cook, he always made the best steaks. Her eyes watered and her vision was becoming unclear. She looked down to her hands, wet puddles had fell on her hand and were continuing to expand. She felt the warm liquid slowly run down her cheek and tickle her chin. Sniffling, Ruriko rummaged through her handbag, searching for a tissue. She had to stop herself from crying over her ex boyfriend.

The ephemeral dreaming, the divine sleep. It's there just beyond that line. Its so close. I can taste its blissful freedom. I'll reach out and grab it.

Feel like I'm falling,
fall out of sight.

Im gonna take this head on. Fuck this, it sucks. You know who you are. I Don't know why it became like but I want it back to the past.

FUCK THIS.

Drama Bellette. says:
gen...
.Drama Bellette. says:
i gotta tell you something
.Drama Bellette. says:
so bad
± Shaiñz ± + げねヴぃえヴぇ |Perseverance| L*red+uITATION.Projects! PPT + IT! Each one of you are my charms, my dream. says:
tell me
± Shaiñz ± + げねヴぃえヴぇ |Perseverance| L*red+uITATION.Projects! PPT + IT! Each one of you are my charms, my dream. says:
Im all ears
.Drama Bellette. says:
i really wish.....
.Drama Bellette. says:
that you'll be here in my room.....
± Shaiñz ± + げねヴぃえヴぇ |Perseverance| L*red+uITATION.Projects! PPT + IT! Each one of you are my charms, my dream. says:
like a fly on a banana
± Shaiñz ± + げねヴぃえヴぇ |Perseverance| L*red+uITATION.Projects! PPT + IT! Each one of you are my charms, my dream. says:
annoying and hard to get rid off
.Drama Bellette. says:
GEN!!
.Drama Bellette. says:
you're ruining the mood!!
± Shaiñz ± + げねヴぃえヴぇ |Perseverance| L*red+uITATION.Projects! PPT + IT! Each one of you are my charms, my dream. says:
Sorry i just had to
± Shaiñz ± + げねヴぃえヴぇ |Perseverance| L*red+uITATION.Projects! PPT + IT! Each one of you are my charms, my dream. says:
(comic relief is funny)


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I couldn't help it.

I cannot take it anymore, the awkwardness, the following. I feel like I'm going to explode. I really really cannot take it anymore. It hurts to watch and consider people's feelings. It hurts to know that they will find a better person, it hurts to know that they will be happier know this better person yet inside my heart says I have done a good thing.

Is a good deed that painful for my soul?
Will it really make me feel better?

I just want to shout my thoughts without being sterotyped. To love like everyone else, to sing like everyone else. Not cry alone.

When will this madness end?
It really is a Mad world.



So.... What's in your head?








Zombie! Zombie! Zombie! Zombie!

Reference taken from The Cranberries' song Zombie.

Ahahahaha, Comms is done now Now I'm left with IT essay and CPT and PPT. The cold I caught isn't really hepling the situation either. =P. Oh my gosh! Time flies neh? It's already 13 of may! To think in less than a months time, I'll be on a flight back to singapore, having a fun time with my friends.

HOOOBOOOY!!! SINGAPORE SINGAPORE!! Just that little bit more! * cough *

Decided to put some ambient music for my boring lil' blog.
Oh and Yoko Kanno's arrangment and piano skills are god sent.
It fits wolf's rain to a T! This goes out to all the lost and
dreaming souls out there.


Been a long road to follow,
Been there and gone tomorrow,
Without saying goodbye to yesterday

Are the memories I hold still valid?
Or have the tears deluded them?

Maybe this time tomorrow,
The rain will cease to follow,
And the mist will fade into one more today

Something somewhere out there keeps calling
Am I going home?
Will I hear someone
Singing solace to the silent moon?

Zero gravity
What's it like? (Am I alone?)

Is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet?
Still the road keeps on telling me to go on...

Something is pulling me
I feel the gravity of it all

Let my world expand, let it open up. Let the singular thoughts and narcisstic notions be gone. Let them come into my world, Let my secrets be theirs and my sacrifice their future.

To be part of another, to be part of one.




Where is my Sense of belonging?

Where are you?

Its not that I can't tell you how I feel but growing up bottling my thoughts has been a way of life for me. I don't really share whats in me for many reasons.

I don't want to get hurt, to invest in something and then lose it really hurts the heart.I grew up around boys, We talked more about sports and games we could play then sharing our feelings.So the issue of feelings were not discussed.

I never made friends till I was eleven, so I guess sharing my thoughts was never really an option for me. For you to present this opportunity to me now is abrupt and shocking. I don't know how to start and if even i do, you will see a girl who is crying inside.

I am fortunate, for that I give thanks. I love my parents,my siblings, my friends, my dog. I love all of you from the bottom of my heart. You all helped me grow in so many ways. Even if I don't share my thoughts and emotions with you, I will listen to yours.

I envy you , joviality, persistence, you embody the traits I so very much wish to emulate. I want to be like you . I want to be top dog like you. I want to shower my love and care on you. To fawn on you, to be your guiding light, to be your pillar, to be the shoulder you wish to cry on. Yet this emotion called fear holds me back, please remove every last bit of fear away from me.

I know you will retort and say You were never truly happy, it is but a farce and a facade you put up to hide the pain and anguish inside yet the ability to even show a happy face is something I'd like to have. No matter how "happy" I may be, I still hurt inside, I still want to know what keeps you smile.

Don't push my away, "Why do you keep annoying us" Those words cut me like a razor blade on jelly. My pokes and hits are harsh and sometimes uncontrollable but please I beg of you, don't run away. I don't know how to show "love" or rather to actually potray love. I fear putting forth my love so I do it in a nudging way. That is my "love"

So please......






















Don't go.

Bye bye mummy and daddy, Thanks for coming.

Omg driving is scary. Check mirrors,blind spots and BRAKE!!!
Bah, I'll prolly get it soon.









..... I hope. (;_;)

Things to do later in the day.

1)Go to Bankwest.
2)Call SIA and change tix to june 12.
3)Call the DAMN DRIVING SCHOOL.

* knocks self with pen * I ought to be shot.
According to Van, She took the last ticket for june!No more tickets left for meeeee! Crap I don't wanna be alone on my flight to Sing-u-pore (;_;).

* Stabs self with pen *
I DEFINATELY don't want that 100 Hours log book. KKNCCB! I'm not gonna make 100 trips just to fill it up! Neither am I too keen on driving within certain hours of the day!

Whats wrong with you Gemmei!! STOP PROCRASTINATING! Get off yer ass and MOOOVE!
Crap.