I actually didn't want to leave my hand there. I was more than willing to let you bite me. The tingles on my neck never felt more welcoming.


/****/

I saw you today, my heart may not beat a-flutter anymore. It's been replaced with simple joy of seeing you. Yet I still cannot face you for your eyes still mesmerize me despite being behind your tinted glasses. I can actually get close to you without fumbling over myself which I believe is a sign of a waning infatuation. I really hope for the day this emotion will dissipate and I can form that strong friendship I would really want to have with you. I want to have you as a close friend but I'm too afraid to get any closer Les I suffer the same fate as I did with me other friend. I don't want to end up falling for you/having a crush on you. I still want you as a close friend.

You're always so busy, I feel rejected but it's just my emotional trait going into overdrive. I still wonder if you really have time at all. I'm surprised you do Kendo albeit with your 3rd year schedule. I envy your time management skills. I wish I can be as headstrong and firm as you. You're someone I always look up to.

I know why guys want you so much. It's not because of your looks but it's because of your "coolness". You possess that cool aura. You're always relaxed and confident, never wavering in mindset. I have yet to see you lose your collected stature. You won't conform to other people's notion of stereotypes or perceptions. You live life like you want to and you push forward no matter what gets in your way. Guys believe you are strong and determined and that's why they are interested in you.

I see it now, I know why I crush on you. You represent the trait I always pinned after but never actually set out to achieve it. You're the me I wish I could have been yet I conformed to conventions set out in front of me. I don't why I did it but it's molded the me today. I won't regret who I am now because I can't change who I am after so many years of adolescence.

To think back on all these, what I feel for you isn't love or crush but a passing admiration that merely got out of hand and I misread it as a crush. Right now, I can say it proudly and clearly, I am not in love nor having a crush on you. I just want to know you better because I would like to have you as a close friend.

Also I would like to thank who ever planned such that her lecture was after mine, You have my gratitude. I get to see her outside Kendo which is really nice. :D

I'm FREE OF LOVE'S Confusing tendrils. I'm at peace with myself and I don't indulge in such selfish desires as anymore. I will always remember that there is more that one kind of love and that people will always love me no matter who I am even though it may not be the love I thought I wanted to have. I will always grateful for the attention and care showered over me.

I love all of you.