http://www.goldinuniverse.com/default.asp

You feel that everything is going against you and you are worn out and exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling. You are trying to protect yourself but at the same time you are hiding your feelings, hoping that by so doing, you can avoid exposing yourself to attack. Hopefully this will give you the chance to get on with your life. Nevertheless, you should be very careful to try to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger your plans.

You haven't been feeling that great lately. Both physically and mentally you are exhausted. To your best friends, those who know you and love you, it shows. Your self esteem has been reduced almost to a minimum and in order to recover - and recover you will - it is necessary that you get away from it all, even if it be only for a few days.

You are a very choosy person - demanding and exacting in your emotional demands and very particular in your choice of partner. You are self-sufficient and as a result of this overbearing nature you find it difficult to establish any depth of deep physical or mental involvement with members of the opposite sex.

You are experiencing extreme frustration at this point of time, trying to achieve security and peace of mind, but whatever you seem to do doesn't effect the situation. You are worn out and your energy is being seriously depleted. You may be experiencing what is known as 'heartache' - both mentally and physically. You are a listener and you listen and respond to everything that is going on around you. You feel that all that life has to offer should be within your grasp and you would like to participate in every part of it but the situation is such that every door seems to be closed to you. You just can't understand why that is. But it is - and what's more you feel powerless to change it.

You feel worn out - you have no energy and your depleted vitality has created intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel inadequate and this subjects you to agitation, irritation and acute distress from which you try to escape by refusing further direct participation. You have become very wary and cautious but you have an inner strength. You have that determination to get your own way and succeed in the end.

So freaky yo. How did a website and program figure out how I'm feeling lately.

I can't stand myself,
I want love yet I push it away. I really want to in love but I go into an automatic response every time someone asks me anything about love. Kinda like a defense mechanism. I really do have self-esteem issues. I cry to myself on my own, I'll give you that. What I tell you is what I wanna tell you, there are things I'd rather not say because it makes me sad inside. I'm running away from so many things. I want someone to love me despite what I say. I can't help what I say.

I'm so jealous of those around you. I just want some attention. It's still hard for me, till now. It really is still so very painful inside me. I just to burst out but yet I can't. I want you to tell me your problems. It hurts to me to see you like this. Really.

I really can't stand myself.

Why?!

24/11/08 ; 1.43 am

In your eyes,
I see kindness.
In your eyes,
I see sweetness.

Do you know?
What you do to me?
Do you know?
Oh why can't you see?

I want your heart,
to love and care.
I want your heart,
I'll take it with me everywhere.

I'll learn your fears,
So I can protect you.
I'll learn your fears,
I'll be your fear's seal.

I'll give you goodnight kisses,
before we go to bed.
I'll give you goodnight kisses,
before the day breaks.

I love you so very much,
I keep thinking of you.
I love you so very much,
Please let me be your beau?