I say I've gotten over you but I still like to look at your pictures. To see your face. I want to keep looking at that face. It's something so beautiful, so innocent, so happy. I just want to see more of you. I don't know whether is it me wanting your love or me just being friend like. I know I'm obsessed with you. I sound like a stalker and I know that but I don't know how to get closer to you. :( I still want to see more of you. I attend practice partly because of you but my reasons are slowly changing. At the same time, I'm losing the will to attend anymore. It's started to feel like a constant bashing week with no returns. You will say that it's because I only attend the bare minimal that's why I'm so weak but even if I do attend more practices I don't think that I can manage them. My physical ability is so pathetically non-existent. I'm only do this for the grading, once that is over I'll think whether I still want continue with Kendo. It was fun while it lasted but I'm starting to feel the drain on myself now. I don't feel like I connect anymore...


I'm so pathetic.