Ichi nen Haiyay. Its already gone. My final year in sheltered schooling. From now on, everyone will walk upon their chosen path and never look back. Friends I have made during these years will start to drift. It is inevitable that this day would come. I just wish I was closer to all my classmates. That regret is going to stay in my head for as long as I live. I really don't want to lose all the people that I have come to know and love. I never really knew how to make friends and so suffered by having no one to talk to. When I finally gained someone, which was in pri 5 it was hard for me to let go since I treat my friends as treasures. I really invested my whole vigor into them. Its not easy for me to watch those I know, go. Even as a teenager, I supposed I could make some friends, yet it was fraught with obstacles and many lies. I was blammed in sec 1 by a classmate whom I thought I could make friends with. Sec 2 i believed I had my group of peers. Sec 3 I was treated literally like dirt. It makes my eyes water thinking about that. I'd rather forget this instances but these are long term memories that have already been etched in one's mind so I have no choice but live on with these memories. I have to choose my own path but IM reluctant to do so. All of us will fan out. I'd rather not come to the crossroads of change but alas it has arrived. I don't know what to do. Let it all go then, I just have to face life as it comes now. I am growing up, I have no decision in the matter..............

After you got a boyfriend, I lost my only other best friend I have. Now both of you have boys to deal with. I am left in the lurch, I feel like a little child brought to a shopping centre with friends and we play together until one day by circumstances those friends leave. I feel lonely and quiet. It is so depressing to invest time in friends yet you end up loosing them in the end. " In the end , It doesn't even matter " how true. It feels like sec one again. All over again, I have to find friends. I too old to invest in that much vigor already. My child like constituition has been swiped with one of jaded thought and negative experiences. I want to continue sharing that bond we used to have. How it was so strong. I wanted to make a promise. A promise in 1o years time, we meet and see how each other is doing but looking at the way things are going now. The promise shall not be set in stone. I just want to sit and down and wonder what I have done wrong. That's why I commune with technology, they will not leave you and they are not critical in thoughts and ideas. I am so tired and pitiful.