It takes a lot of effort to emancipate yourself from something you love and care about. I feel like a child who keeps moving from house to house with no permanent place to settle down. Everything is but a temporary existence. It shatters a child's self esteem because their trust keeps getting betrayed; nothing is for certain.
When it comes to making choices between 2 places, of the course the one that win outright would be the one where most memories were kept, or the best events have taken place. But what if the places both held memories but of different genres yet still essential to the holder of those memories.
I left Singapore hesitantly because I know i would leave the friends i loved behind, as much as we would tell each other we would write and keep in touch. In reality, that is never true. Keeping in contact would still be possible but that connection will slowly but surely sever. Sever to the point that you have forgotten about it because of the little cracks that began to eat away at the bonds.
I'm afriad of loosing the friends I have here, each one has a part of me in them and them in my heart. Should I leave, A part of me will stay with them and I don't think will ever be able to recover that lost of portion of my youth anymore. I'm a person who feels heavily, I depend a lot on my emotions. So I don't know how I am going to take leaving this country. I'm surprised I haven't broken down from all these broken trust and insecurities yet.
Maybe I will one day....
Who knows?
